Weekly Market Commentary 2025.30
8/5/2025
Fast as a snail.
In July, the weather in Norfolk, England, was perfectly rainy as Bilbo Sluggins won the World Snail Racing Championship with a time of two minutes and 11 seconds. Fans and competitors traveled from the United States, South Korea, and France for the competition. Some arrived with trained gastropods (Training might include a strict lettuce diet and daily workouts climbing vertical surfaces). Others relied on entrants hired from the area’s world-renowned snail stables. Bilbo’s winning pace was just shy of the two-minute record set in 1995, but it was a vast improvement over 2023’s winning time of 7 minutes and 24 seconds.
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